Phew! First week of working from home with a toddler is finished. Honestly when this started, I was anticipating 2 weeks, even though it could be longer. Now, with how the world looks, it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s only two weeks. We have to prepare for living like this for longer.
On Wednesday I felt quite sick so I slept a lot while my husband took care of most of the childcare duty. I also had a low fever at night. But gladly it went away. I slowly started to feel better on Thursday and Friday. That said, my husband’s also sick again, we keep passing this thing to each other! We’re trying to practice better hygiene at home so we don’t keep cross-contaminate each other forever.
Some more learnings from these couple of days:
1. Food is important. Cook better food for larger portion so you can have it later.
As I’m feeling better, I started to cook more. For the first two days of this week, we ate and cook super simple and not very delicious food to save time on cooking. Afterwards, we realized that since we appreciate good food, it makes us feel more satisfied and overall less depressed about the whole pandemic thing. It also gives us something to focus on and talk about at dinner, instead of how bad things are.
2. A normal, healthy child requires a lot of attention! And being outdoors helps.
My son was feeling sick earlier this week and now getting better. As he feels better, his energy level significantly increased and now wants to play with us all the time! I realized it’s actually more disruptive to our work than before. But we had to embrace it.
We started to work out and write down a shift system where each of us will be “on-call” for a few hours, depending on whose meetings are more tolerating. During the on-call period, the person has to be the one to play with the kid, give him snacks, read books, etc.
Given this system, there were a few one-on-one meetings I had that didn’t require me to be in front of a computer where I would just take my son into the yard and play there while I talk on the phone. I noticed he has a lot more to do outside and bothers me less, therefore I have a little more time to focus on the call. There were also a few meetings where he would come in and out of the video call and all my colleagues were super accommodating and were happy to see him or even entertain him.
3. Colleagues who are understanding is EVERYTHING.
At the end of this week my manager sent me the following message which was really sweet:
just wanted to let you know that it’s really really impressed me the way you’ve juggled childcare and work this week, and in particular the way you’ve been so transparent about it on calls. I can’t even imagine what a stressful situation it is to be in, but want to make sure you know that it makes me really happy when you dial in with R from the yard, or have him yelling in the background, or have him coming in and out. I obviously love seeing R and wish I could be his babysitter, but ALSO as someone who hopes to be a mom someday, I really value the example you set and the normalizing effect it has on demonstrating that work and childcare is a juggling act and it’s actually kinda great when they can come together. I do want to make clear that I’m not assuming in anyway it isn’t super stressful for you to actually do, but just that I appreciate you for sharing the experience with us.
My colleagues are all super understanding and overall very flexible. I didn’t try to cancel meetings, but I did move things around, or ask them a few minutes before the meeting if my son is starting to get fussy, what to do, if they can speak on my behalf so I can mute, etc. I’m sure it’s disruptive for them too, but very glad that it worked out. I wasn’t feeling guilty, but definitely didn’t think I was 100% productive. So this message from my manager really did come very timely and super encouraging.
4. Going outside is great. Even in the yard.
As stated before, I’ve taken my son in the yard a few times and those were good for him. I think it was good for me too. We’re lucky to be in California where you can usually count on good weather. So even when you’re stuck at home, there’s going to be nice sun to enjoy.
5. I’m…. a little bit thankful that I get to spend this much time with my son.
It’s tough to admit this, and generally I find work to be my rescue from childcare, but my son is at a very fun age. It’s so heart-warming when I’m working in the dining room, and I look up from the computer and see him running towards me with a big smile. It’s demanding for sure, but I’m slightly thankful for the opportunity to interact with him so much these days.
That said, these days aren’t easy for us! I’m glad it’s the weekend now, so at least there are no work calls that we have to move schedules around. But the childcare while working from home still continues.